SHIRINLINGERIE

23RD OF OCTOBER 2020

DETAILS

TODAY RYAN LANJI PHONED ME TO TALK OVER THE DETAILS OF THE SHIRIN LINGERIE SHOOT. HE REITERATED THAT I WAS GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE E-COMMERCE SEGMENT, AND TALKED ABOUT MY PAY. HE ALSO SPOKE ABOUT HOW HE WAS REALLY IMPRESSED ABOUT HOW I HAD APPROACHED HIM AND THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS HE PUT ME ON BOARD WITH THIS PROJECT. THIS REALLY FITS IN WITH MY CURRENT MENTALITY OF 'IF YOU DON'T AS YOU DON'T GET'. HE ALSO ASKED IF I COULD SEND A VISION BOARD IN ABOUT A WEEK'S TIME SO THAT I COULD SHOW HOW I WAS INTENDING TO SHOOT AND WHAT WOULD MY INSPIRATIONS BE - AND THAT WE WOULD HAVE AMEETING WITH SHIRIN (SHE/HER), OWNER OF THE COMPANY, TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE VISIONBOARD AND ANY OTHER DETAILS/ DOUBTS.

LASTLY WE SPOKE ABOUT THE THEME OF THE SHOOT. AS SHIRIN LINGERIE IS A COMPANY THAT FOCUSES ON LINGERIE ESPECIALLY MADE FOR INDIAN BRIDAL WEAR, THE OBJECTIVE WOULD BE TO MAKE THE MODELS APPEAR AS INDIAN GODESSES THROUGH THE STYLE OF SHOOTING AND SET DESIGN. BEING AWARE OF WHO I AM AND WHAT THE OCMAPNY IS ABOUT, I ASKED RYAN IF SHIRIN WAS COMFORTABLE THAT I AM A WHITE PHOTOGRAPHER - AND HE SAID SHE WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO HAVE ME ON BOARD.

EVEN THOUGH E-COMMERCE PHOTOGRAPHY IS RELATIVELY STRAIGHT FORWARD, I NEED TO DO A LOT OF REASAERCH AND PROPERLY PREPARE. I NEED TO DO RESEARCH ON INDIAN GODESSES, ON THE BEST LIGHTING FOR THIS TYPE OF WORK, THE BEST CAMERA, ETC, ECT. THIS IS A BIG PROJECT, BUT I FEEL REALLY EXCITED AND MOTIVATED TO DO IT, AND JUST GENUINELY HAPPY THAT I GET TO WORK WITH PEOPLE THAT I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO WORK WITH.

WORKING WITH SHIRIN LINGERIE

17TH OF OCTOBER 2020

MEETING RYAN LANJI

WORKING WITH BEBELUNA HAS DEFINITELY INSPIRED ME TO PUSH FORWARD AND DO THINGS THAT I HAVE ONLY DREAMED ABOUT. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IT HAS LED ME TO DO IS MEET RYAN LANJI (HE/HIM), AN ART DIRECTOR AND WINNER OF NETFLIX'S THE BIG FLOWER FIGHT. I HAD SEEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT HE WAS HAVING A MEET AND GREET AT HYDE PARK TO SHOW HIS FINAL PIECE FOR THE BIG FLOWER FIGHT. SO I TOOK THIS OPPORTUNITY TO GO ASK HIM PERSONALLY IF I COULD WORK EITHER WITH HIM OR FOR HIM. THE CONVERSATION WENT REALLY WELL, AND HE APPRECIATED THAT I HAD APPROACHED HIM THIS WAY, AS IT SHOWED EAGERNESS AND DRIVE. HE ASKED ME TO JUST SEND HIM A MESSAGE ON INSTAGRAM, AND HE WOULD GET BACK TO ME. SO I WILL, BUT NOT JUST YET. I STILL NEED TO FINISH BUILDING MY WEBSITE. EVEN THOUGH OUR MEETING WAS INFORMAL, I STILL WANT TO PRESENT MYSELF PROFESSIONALLY. THEREFORE, I WILL SEND HIM A MESSAGE IN ABOUT A WEEK'S TIME. HOPEFULLY HE WILL REMEMBER OUR CONVERSATION!

20TH OF OCTOBER 2020

WEBSITE

I WAS ABLE TO FINISH MY WEBSITE IN ADVANCE. I TRIED MY BEST TO FINISH IT AS BEST AND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE I REALLY DIDN'T WANT HIM TO FORGET ME, OR THINK I WASN'T SERIOUS. SO I SENT HIM A MESSAGE ALONGSIDE A LINK TO MY WEBSITE - AND HE RESPONDED IMMEDIATELY SAYING HE HADN'T FORGOTTEN ME! HE SCANNED MY WORK, AND QUICKLY SAID THAT HE HAD AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ME. I AM REALLY GLAD THAT THIS APPROACH IS WORKING, AS I DO THINK IT IS MY PREFERRED WAY OF CONTACTING PEOPLE. IT MAKES EVERYTHING SEEM LESS DAUNTING OVERALL. IT'S ALSO A BOOST OF CONFIDENCE.

I WONDER WHAT THE PROJECT WILL BE? I HOPE IT HAS TO DO WITH SCULPTURE. I USUALLY INCORPORATE SCULPTURE WITHIN MY OWN PRACTICE, BUT HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO DO IT SINCE THE START OF THE DPS YEAR. IN ANY WAY, I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

20TH OF OCTOBER 2020

MEETING RYAN LANJI

WORKING WITH BEBELUNA HAS DEFINITELY INSPIRED ME TO PUSH FORWARD AND DO THINGS THAT I HAVE ONLY DREAMED ABOUT. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IT HAS LED ME TO DO IS MEET RYAN LANJI (HE/HIM), AN ART DIRECTOR AND WINNER OF NETFLIX'S THE BIG FLOWER FIGHT. I HAD SEEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA THAT HE WAS HAVING A MEET AND GREET AT HYDE PARK TO SHOW HIS FINAL PIECE FOR THE BIG FLOWER FIGHT. SO I TOOK THIS OPPORTUNITY TO GO ASK HIM PERSONALLY IF I COULD WORK EITHER WITH HIM OR FOR HIM. THE CONVERSATION WENT REALLY WELL, AND HE APPRECIATED THAT I HAD APPROACHED HIM THIS WAY, AS IT SHOWED EAGERNESS AND DRIVE. HE ASKED ME TO JUST SEND HIM A MESSAGE ON INSTAGRAM, AND HE WOULD GET BACK TO ME. SO I WILL, BUT NOT JUST YET. I STILL NEED TO FINISH BUILDING MY WEBSITE. EVEN THOUGH OUR MEETING WAS INFORMAL, I STILL WANT TO PRESENT MYSELF PROFESSIONALLY. THEREFORE, I WILL SEND HIM A MESSAGE IN ABOUT A WEEK'S TIME. HOPEFULLY HE WILL REMEMBER OUR CONVERSATION!

1ST OF NOVEMBER 2020

VISION BOARD

TODAY I SENT OVER THE MOOD BOARD TO BOTH SHIRIN & RYAN.
THROUGHOUT THE WEEK I WAS IN COMMUNICATION WITH RYAN ABOUT THE THEME TO CLARIFY WHAT THEY WANTED. HE SAID THAT THE THEME WAS GOING TO BE LOOSELY BASED AROUND THE CONCEPT OF A GODESS, AND THAT IT WOULDN'T BE AN HOMAGE TO ANY SPECIFIC ONE. MEANING, THAT I DIDN'T NEED TO NECESSARILY DIVE INTO THE DEDPTH OF INDIAN CULTURE. INSTEAD, I DID SOME HOLISTOC READING SO THAT I COULD BE MORE INFORMED ANYWAY, AND FOCUSED MY RESEARCH FOR THE MOOD BOARD ON THE STYLE OF PHOTOGRAPHY. THE IMAGES NEED TO BE CLEAN, CONCISE, ELEGANT, AND SHARP. NOT TOO PLAYFUL, BUT NOT TOO STRAIGHT FORWARD EITHER. DUE TO THIS CRITERIA, I READ UP ON A LOT OF TYLER MITCHELL'S (HE/HIM) WORK. HE IS AN INCREDIBLE PHOTOGRAPHER FROM ATLANTA, GEORGIA, THAT FOCUSES ON THE BLACK UTOPIA. HIS IMAGES ALTHOUGH NOT E-COMMERCE BASED, STILL CARRY THE ELEMENTS THAT I NEED TO APPLY FOR THIS PROJECT. IN ADDITION, I DID SOME RESEARCH ON PERSPECTIVE. BECAUSE THE OBJECTIVE IS TO ACHIEVE A GODDESS-LIKE MOTIF, I KNEW THAT I HAD TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THE MODEL IS TALLER, MORE UNTOUCHABLE, AND ABOVE US ALL. THROUGH SOME READING I UNDERSTOOD THAT TO BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE THIS, I WOULD HAVE TO TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS FROM A LOWER ANGLE, BUT KEEPING MYSELF CENTRED. SO I ADDED PHOTOS THAT WOULD COMMUNICATE THOSE INTENTIONS.

2ND OF NOVEMBER 2020

FIRST MEETING

TODAY WE, SHIRIN, RYAN, AND MYSELF, HAD A MEETING OVER SKYPE TO DICUSS MY MOOD BOARD. THERE WERE SOME CONCERNS ABOUT THE IMAGES THAT I HAD PUT, AS THEY WERE MORE ARTISTIC/FASHION/EXPERIMENTAL BASED. I REALISED THAT I SHOULD HAVE PROBABLY WRITEN MORE IN MY PRESENTATION, TO BETTER EXPLAIN WHAT I ACTUALLY MEANT BY THE IMAGES CHOSEN. I EXPLAINED THAT I KNEW THIS WAS AN E-COMMERCE SHOOT, AND THAT THE FIRST HALF OF THE PRESENTATION WAS TO SHOW THAT I WILL BE TRYING TO CAPTURE ELEGANCE, COLOUR OF THE GARMS, AND PURE BEAUTY. I THEN EXPLAINED THAT THE OTHER HALD WAS TO BETTER ILLUSTRATE THE TYPE OF PERSEPECTIVES THAT I WOULD BE SHOOTING AT. SHIRIN STILL SEEMED CONFUSED ABOUT THE LATTER. SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE PHOTOS WOULD COME OUT INAPPROPIATE, OR BECOME TOO SEXUAL, DUE TO THE FACT THAT THOSE ANGLES MIGHT FOCUS TOO MUCH ON THE MODEL'S PERSONAL AREA. I UNDERSTOOD HER WORRY COMPLETELY. I ASSURED HER THAT THAT WAS NOT MY OBJECTIVE AT ALL, AND ALL I SIMPLY MEANT TWAS THAT I WOULD BE SHOOTING FROM A LOWER ANGLE TO FORTIFY THE 'GODDESS' PERSONA. THAT I WOULDN'T BE DOING ANYTHING EXTREME AND THAT I WOULD MAKE SURE THAT THE MODEL WAS COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE AT ALL TIMES. SHIRIN THE COMPLETELY GOT WHAT I WAS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE AND BECAME A LOT MORE RELAXED, AND ACTUALLY WAS QUITE EXCITED. RYAN AND SHIRIN THEN CONFIRMED THAT THE SHOOT WOULD BE ON THE 7TH OF NOVEMBER, AND THAT WE WOULD HAVE ALL DAY TO TAKE THE PHOTOGRAPHS. SHIRIN SPECIFIED THAT THERE WERE THREE SETS ON LINGERIE TO SHOOT, WITH DIFFERENT TYPES OF IMAGES FOR EACH, JUST SO THAT I KNEW HOW MUCH WE WERE DOING THAT DAY.

AFTER THE MEETING, I MADE IT A POINT TO REMEMBER THAT FOR FUTURE MOOD BOARDS, I SHOULD BE MORE CLEAR AND SPECIFIC ABOUT WHY I HAVE CHOSEN CERTAIN IMAGES, REGARDLESS IF THERE IS GOING TO BE A MEETING RIGHT AFTER. I WANT MY CLIENT/BOSS TO FEEL ASSURED THAT I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, AND IF THERE ARE ANY DOUBTS THEN THEY CAN BE CLARIFIED WAY BEFORE THE DAY OF THE PHOTOSHOOT.

NOW I AM GOING TO KEEP DOING RESEARCH ON THE EQUIPMENT THAT I WILL NEED, AS WELL AS MORE INSPIRATION. LUCKILY, I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PRACTICE WITH THE CAMERA THAT I AM GOING TO USE AT ANOTHER JOB A FEW DAYS AGO, AND I WILL BE ABLE TO DO SO AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS AT A SHOOT WITH BEBELUNA (THEY/THEM) & HASZNAT (THEY/THEM).

6TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

THE DAY BEFORE

JUSTA QUICK CHECK-IN TO SAY THAT I AM REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROW. I HAVE DONE ALL THE RESEARCH THAT NEEDED TO BE DONE. I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THAT I AM PREPARED AND THAT I CAN DO THIS. I THINK THE NERVES ARE COMING BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS TYPE OF WORK BEFORE WHILE ALSO BEING COUNTED ON A LOT AAAAND BEING PAYED A REALLY GOOD AMOUNT. BUT LIKE I SAID, I HAVE DONE THE RESEARCH THAT I NEEDED TO DO. I HAVE TO WAKE UP EXTRA EARLY TOMORROW TO PICK UP THE LIGHTING EQUIPMENT THAT I NEED. THEN I NEED TO BE IN HACKNEY FOR 8AM.
I CAN FEEL THE ADRENALINE KICKING IN.

10TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

WETRANSFER

THE DAY OF THE SHOOT I SPOKE TO SHIRIN ABOUT HOW SHE WANTED TO DO THE EDITING PROCESS - AND WE BOTH AGREED THAT I WOULD SEND HER ALL THE PHOTOS, SHE WOULD CHOOSE HER FAVOURITE ONES, AND THE I COULD EDIT THOSE. WE DID IT LIKE THIS BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY IT IS HER COMPANY, AND SHE KNOWS HOW SHE WANTS IT TO BE SEEN. IF IT HAD BEEN MORE OF A CREATIVE SHOOT, THEN I WOULD JUST CHOOSE THE PHOTOS MYSELF. SO, I HAVE SPENT THE LAST THREE DAYS SENDING ALLL THE PHOTOS TO SHIRIN. EVEN THOUGH I WS REALLY CAUTIOUS ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF PHOTOS I TOOK, THERE WERE STILL MANY MANY MANY IN TOTAL. THEY WERE ALSO ALL SHOT ON RAW, SO THEY WERE HEVAY FILES. MY WI-FI IS NOT VERY STRONG, SO I COULD ONLY SEND 10 PHOTOS AT A TIME, MAKING THE PROCESS REALLY LONG, AND THE REASON WHY IT TOOK THREE DAYS FOR HER TO GET THEM ALL.

I THINK IN THE FUTURE, WHEN I DO WORK OF THS TYPE, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT SOMEONE HAS A BACK-UP HARD DRIVE OR USB STICK TO CUT THE MIDDLE MAN TO AVOID THIS TYPE OF SITUATION IN THE FUTURE.

7TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

I MET A GODDESS

TODAY WAS THE DAY OF THE SHOOT! IT ALL WENT REALLY REALLY WELL, AND THE TEAM WAS INCREDIBLE. THE FIRST FEW HOURS I GOT THERE I WAS QUITE QUIET, AS I WAS JUST REALLY CONCENTRATED ON SETTING UP THE LIGHTS. I HAD TO DO A LAST-MINUTE ADJUSTMENT ON THE EQUIPMENT DUE TO AVAILABILITY, SO I HIRED OUT STUFF THAT I HAD NEER USED BEFORE. IT WAS OKAY THOUGH, I DID RESEARCH LAST NIGHT ON THEM AND FELT LIKE I COULD DO IT. SO, WHILE THE MODEL WAS GETTING HAIR & MAKE-UP DONE, I FOCUSED ON EXPLORING THESE STRANGE LIGHTS. I WAS READY FOR THE TIME THEY WANTED TO START, SO I CHECKED THE WHITE BALANCE AND WE STARTED SHOOTING THE FIRST SET OF LINGERIE.

OVERALL THE SHOOT WENT REALLY WELL. I HAD MY LAPTOP SET-UP SO THAT SHIRIN AND THE MODEL (SHE/HER) COUD SEE THE SHOTS IN BETWEEN THE PHOTOS BEING TAKEN AND CHANGE OF LINGERIE. THE MODEL, SHIRIN, AND RYAN ALL WERE REALLY HAPPY WITH THE IMAGES THAT I WAS TAKING, AND SHIRIN SEEMED ESPECIALLY EXCITED AND HAPPY. THIS WAS A HUGE RELIEF !!! IT'S A BIZARRE TYPE OF RELIEF BUT AN AFFIRMING ONE, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I CAN TAKE BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS, BUT IT REALLY IS SOMETHING ELSE WHEN DOING IT IN A DIFFERENT CONTEXT. I THINK IT'S HEALTHY TO JUDGE OURSELVES IN WHAT WE DO TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, LIKE ME AS A PHOTOGRAPHER, BECAUSE GIVES US A CHANCE TO IMPROVE. BUT IT REALLY HAS TO BE IN MODERATION! TOO MUCH JUDGING LEADS TO SELF-DOUBT WHICH LEADS TO THE SLOWING DOWN IN CREATION. ANYWAY, THE REST OF THE DAY WENT REALLY SMOOTHLY. I DID A LOT OF PHOTOS FROM A LOWER ANGLE LIKE PLANNED, BUT I ALSO EXPERIMENTED IN THE MOMENT TO GIVE A BIT OF VARIETY. ALSO! JOE BIDEN WON THE ELECTION WHILE WE WERE SHOOTING, WHICH IS A RELIEF (TO SOME SORT OF DEGREE), AND WE ATE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE TYPES OF FOOD (POKE).

ON MY HOME I REFLECTED ON HOW AMAZING THE TEAM WAS. EVERYONE INVOLVED WAS REALLY NICE AND AMAZING AT WHAT THEY DO, MAKING THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE PLEASANT FOR ME. BUT, I KEPT THINKING ABOUT HOW I WORKED. ALTHOUGH I WAS REALLY PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS, I REALISED THAT I WAS BEING A LITTLE BIT TOO SLOW. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I AM USED TO ANALOGUE CAMERAS, AND WAS STILL TREATING THE DIGITAL CAMERA LIKE ONE, ESPECIALLY THE SETTINGS LIKE THE SHUTTER SPEED. ALSO, I HAD PREVIOUSLY JUST TOLD MYSELF, AFTER THE FRED PERRY SHOOT, TO BE MORE CAUTIOUS WITH THE AMOUNT OF PHOTOS THAT I TAKE. I THINK THAT WEIGHED HEAVILY ON MY MIND AS I WORKED YESTERDAY, MAKING ME BE EXTRA CAUTIOUS AND RESULTING IN WORKING NOT AS FAST AS I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO. BUT IT'S OKAY, BECAUSE 1) SHIRIN REALLY LIKED THE IMAGES AND THE WAY I WORKED AND 2) THIS IS ALL A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. THE MORE I DO THIS TYPE OF WORK, THE MORE FAMILIARISED I WILL BE WITH A VARIETY OF CAMERAS, AND I WILL BE ABLE TO FIND MY GROOVE AND WORK AT A PACE THAT SUITS EVERYONE INVOLVED.

BUT I AM STILL FEELING VERY HAPPY ABOUT TODAY, AND JUST VERY THANKFUL FOR THIS EXPERIENCE.

20TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

THE WAIT

I HADN'T HEARD FROM SHIRIN IN A WHILE SO I DECIDED TO SEND A FOLLOW-UP E-MAIL TO MAKE SURE THAT EVERYTHING WAS OKAY. SHE REPLIED TODAY SAYING THAT EVERYTHING WAS OKAY, AND THAT SHE WAS JUST STILL CHOOSING THE PHOTOS THAT SHE WANTS EDITED.

I HOPE EVERYTHING IS ACTUALLY OKAY, AND THAT SHE ISN'T DISAPPOINTED WITH THE IMAGES.

8TH OF FEBRUARY 2021

THE END

TODAY I SAW ON INSTAGRAM THAT SHIRIN LINGERIE POSTED THE FINAL PHOTOS! THEY LOOK SO GOOD! I EMAILED SHIRIN TO SAY HOW AMAZING THEY ARE AND TO THANK HER ONCE AGAIN FOR INVOLVING ME IN THIS PROJECT. I ALSO ASKED IF SHE COULD SEND THEM OVER SO HATI COULD ADD THE TO MY OWN WEBSITE / PORTFOLIO / INSTAGRAM. AT THE END OF THE EMAIL I ADDED THAT I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO WORK WITH HER AGAIN, AND THAT I AM ALSO ABLE TO WORK ON ANY VIDEO + GRAPHICS.

SHE RESPONDED IMMEDIATELY SAYING THAT IT WAS SUCH A PLEASURE TO WORK WITH ME, AND THAT SHE DEFINITELY WOULD WANT TO DO SO AGAIN. SHE ALSO PAYED MY INVOICE IMMEDIATELY (THE FULL AMOUNT!) AND ASKED ME TO SIGN AN AGREEMENT DOCUMENT TO RELEASE ALL OWNERSHIP OF THE IMAGES TO SHIRIN. FINALLY SHE SAID:

"They look amazing, I hope you're pleased with yourself as the images have so much impact."

THIS IS A WONDERFUL CONCLUSION TO A SOMEWHAT STRESSFUL PROJECT. NOT THAT THE SHOOT ITSELF WAS, BUT THE POST-PRODUCTION AND LACK OF COMMUNICATION. LIKE I SAID BEFORE, IT'S ALL ABOUT PATIENCE - NOT BECAUSE I AM TRYING MY BEST TO COMMUNICATE MEANS THAT OTHERS WILL DO THE SAME.

28TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

THE BLUR

SHIRIN EMAILED ME YESTERDAY. SHE SAID THAT SHE STILL LIKED THE IMAGES, BUT SOME OF THE ONES SHE WANTED TO USE CAME OUT BLURRY. SO SHE THEN SENT ME ON SPECIFIC PHOTO AND ASKED ME IF I COULD EDIT IT IN ANY WAY SO THAT IT WOULDN'T BE AS BLURRY. AT FIRST I FELT NERVOUS ABOUT THIS BLUR, BUT WHEN I SAW THE PHOTO I UNDERSTOOD THAT THE BLUR SHE MEANT WAS THE BACKGROUND AND PARTS OF THE BODY THAT WERE OUT OF FOCUS. THIS HAPPENED BECAUS EOF THE APERTURE I USED. THIS APERTURE CREATES A SHORT DEPTH OF FIELD, MEANING THAT THE MAIN MOTIF IS CLEAR AND THE BACKGROUND IS OUT OF FOCUS. I DID THIS ON PURPOSE SO THAT THE EYE WOULD FOCUS MORE ON THE GARMS AND THE DETAILS ON THEM. I REPLIED TO HER SAYING THAT THERE WOULD BE NO PROBLEM IN EDITING, AND THATI WOULD SEND THE IMAGE OVER LATER THAT EVENING.

OUT OF CURIOSITY, I LOOKED THROUGH ALL THE IMAGES AGAIN, AND IN FACT, THERE WERE SOME THAT WERE NOT AS SHARP AS THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN. I FELT REALLY BAD ABOUT THIS, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE EVERYTHING LOOKED FINE ON THE DAY. REITERATING MY POINT FROM BEFORE, I NEED TO LET GO OF HOW I USE ANALOGUE CAMERAS WHEN I USE DIGITAL CAMERAS. FOR SOME REASON I DON'T TRUST THE BIG NUMBERS THAT CAN BE USED WHEN DIGITAL, AND I REALLY REALLY DIDN'T WANT THE IMAGES TO BE GRAINY. I THINK I REQUIRE MORE PRACTICE WITH DIGITAL CAMERAS TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE FUTURE. THAT BEING SAID, I KNOW THAT A LOT OF THE IMAGES ARE GOOD, SO I HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T LET SHIRIN DOWN.

I EDITED THE PHOTO A FEW HOURS AGO, AND I WAS EXTREMELY PLEASE WITH HOW IT CAME OUT. DUE TO THE FACT THAT I HAVE BEEN INCREASING MY KNOWLEDGE IN PHOTOSHOP, I WAS ABLE TO FIX DETAILS THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO BEFORE. NOW, THE IMAGE LOOKS LIKE A GOLDEN PAINTING OF A GODDESS.

I HOPE SHIRIN LIKES IT AS MUCH AS I DO.

10TH OF DECEMBER 2020

THE WAIT PT. TWO

I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD BACK FROM SHIRIN. I WONDER IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE EDIT, AND I JUST COMPLETELY LET HER DOWN? OR MAYBE SHE IS JUST BUSY, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT WE ARE NEARING THE HOLIDAYS.

12TH OF DECEMBER
THE CHECK-IN

INSTEAD OF LETTING MY WORRIES GET THE BEST OF ME, I DECIDED TO EMAIL HER TODAY AGAIN TO CHECK-IN. I HOPE THAT SHE REPLIES SOON SO THAT I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.

15TH OF DECEMBER 2020

THE RESPONSE

SHIRIN RESPONDED TODAY! AGAIN, SHE SAID THAT SHE LIKED HOW I EDITED THE PHOTO, BUT THAT THE COLOURS WERE TOO 'WARM'. THEN SHE WENT ONTO SAY THAT SHE MIGHT JUST ASK HER BROTHER TO EDIT THEM FOR HER. SHE SAID THAT HE IS A PROFESSIONAL RETOUCHER, AND BECAUSE HE WAS SPENDING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS WITH HER, IT WOULD BE EASIER AND FASTER TO EDIT ALL THE PHOTOS IN ONE GO.

ALTHOUGH I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS PRACTICAL FOR HER, I COULDN'T SHAKE AWAY THE FACT THAT I FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT OR THAT SHE WASN'T BEING HONEST WITH ME, DUE TO THE SLOW COMMUNICATION. ALSO, IT IS A SIMPLE FIX TO REDUCE THE WARM TONES IN THE PHOTO, AND I COULD CHANGE IT IN A METTER OF SECONDS. SO RESPONDED SAYING THA I COULD EASILY FIX IT, AND IF SHE LIKED IT, I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO EDIT THE PHOTOS.

11TH OF DECEMBER 2020

THE UNFOLLOW

RYAN LANJI UNFOLLOWED ME ON INSTAGRAM TODAY. USUALLY I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS, BUT SEEING THAT HE WAS THE ONE THAT PUT ME ONTO THIS PROJECT, AND THE PROJECT HASN'T BEEN WRAPPED UP YET, I STARTED TO WORRY. ON TOP OF THAT, SHIRIN HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY LAST EMIAL YET. I AM STARTING TO FEEL REALLY ANXIOUS ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING. THEN I SAW THET HE ALSO UNFOLLOWED OTHER PEOPLE WHO WORKED ON THE SHIRIN LINGERIE SHOOT. HOPEFULLY THE UNFOLLOW AND THE LACK OF RESPONSE IS UNRELATED, AND NOTHING PERSONAL.

19TH OF DECEMBER 2020

THE RESPONSE PT. TWO

SHRIN RESPONDED TODAY, SAYING THAT SHE WILL SEE AND LET ME KNOW - THAT SHE IS VERY BUSY AT THE MOMENT AND IS PREPARING FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

I CAN ONLY TAKE THIS AS A POSITIVE THING. HER SAYING THAT MEANS THAT MAYBE A PART OF THE SLOW RESPONSE WAS DUE TO THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

I JUST HOPE THAT THROUGH THIS COMMUNICATION SHE IS GETTING HOW EAGER I AM TO DO THE BEST THAT I CAN, AND THAT I AM NOT HERE TO SLACK.

IF THE DOES DECIDE TO GO WITH HER BROTHER THOUGH, I HOPE I STILL GET PAYED THE AMOUNT THAT WAS AGREED ON. DURING THE SUMMER I DID A SMALL PAYED INTERNSHIP AND STILL AM WAITING TO GET THE INVOICE PAYED, SO I AM AWARE OF HOW COMPANIES AND ORGANISATIONS CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SMALLER UPCOMING ARTISTS - SO NOW I AM ALWAYS WEARY.

11TH OF JANUARY 2021

NEW YEAR SAME WORRY

I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD BACK FROM SHIRIN. MY ANXIETY ABOUT THE PROJECT INCREASED OVER THE SUMMER. BUT THIS TIME, INSTEAD OF TIPTOE-ING AROUND, I EMAILED HER EXPRESSING MY EXACT THOUGHTS. I AM LEARNING MORE AND MORE THROUGHOUT THIS DPS YEAR THAT COMMUNICATION IS KEY, REGARDLESS OF WHO IT IS WITH. THIS IS WHAT I WROTE:

Hello Shirin,

Happy New Year! I really hope that you are doing well and have managed to get some rest over the holidays.

I just wanted to know if there was any update with the photos. Did your brother end up retouching them? Am I to edit them? Please let me know.

I was also wondering if everything was okay between us, and if you are satisfied with the photographs. By the end of the year I was starting to feel that maybe you weren't. Hopefully this isn't the case.

Again, I hope you and your family are doing well. I hope to hear from you soon.

Best,

Jasmine

I KEPT MY EMAIL FORMAL WHILE ALSO GETTING STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. I HONESTLY ALREADY FEEL SO MUCH BETTER JUST BY DOING THIS.

13TH OF JANUARY 2021

PROPER COMMUNICATION

FROM SHIRIN:

Hi Jasmine,

I hope you're well and are getting to grips with lockdown. What a crazy start to 2021.

Sorry for making you feel anxious about the photos - that certainly wasn't my intention! I think at first I was a little disappointed as a lot of the images were quite blurry and unusable for what I needed. However as I went through them, I was more confident that we have a really good selection. I'm actually really pleased with the images that you took, the style is spot on and there are enough to find the perfect shots :)

I've given the retouching to my brother, simply because it's easier for me to manage with him and he picks up on small things (for example he looks for the clothings and if it's out of place, he fixes in post, and updated nail colours to match closer to the lingerie as the polish colour wasn't quite right). That's not to say that your retouch was off, although I did find the background colours too yellow and not balanced.

My number is 07890191090 if you'd like to have a chat. Honestly no bad feeling towards the images, they look amazing and I hope you're happy with them too.

Thanks,

Shirin

THIS RESPONSE IS ALL I NEEDED. SHE WAS CLEAR WITH WHAT SHE DIDN'T LIKE BUT ALSO RECONFIRMED THAT SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH THE PHOTOS IN THE END. ALTHOUGH I COULD TAKE THIS EMAIL AS SOMETHING NEGATIVE, I WON'T. I WILL TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY AS A TIME TO LEARN AND BECOME A BETTER ARTIST + PHOTOGRAPHER. THIS PROJECT HAS ALSO TAUGHT ME TO BE PATIENT. I CAN'T LET THINGS GET INTO MY HEAD TOO MUCH, BECAUSE IT HINDERS ANY PROCESS. AT THE SAME TIME, IT IS IMPORTANT TO LEAVE EGO AT THE DOOR AND BE AWARE O ANY MISTAKES MADE. MOST IMPORTANTLY, I KNOW NOW MORE THAN EVER THE ABSOLUTE NECESSITY OF HONEST COMUNICATION. ALL OF THESE THINGS WILL BE TAKEN INTO THE FUTURE, AND APPLY TO ANY AND ALL ENDEAVOURS. TO GROWTH.

10TH OF FEBRUARY

IMAGE OWNERSHIP

AS I WAS READING THE AGREEMENT DOCUMENT, I COULDN'T HELP BUT QUESTION WHAT IT WAS ALL ACTUALLY ABOUT. I HAD NEVER HAD TO SIGN ONE BEFORE. SO I DECIDED TO DO SOME RESEARCH ON IT.

APPARENTLY, THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS AUTOMATICALLY THE FULL OWNER OF ALL IMAGES PRODUCED UNLESS AGREED TO OTHERWISE. IF THE CLIENT WANTS TO USE THEM OR HAVE OWNERSHIP, I AS THE PHOTOGRAPHER CAN WRITE UP A COPYRIGHT AGREEMENT WHERE I CAN GAIN A PERCENTAGE OF MONENY FOR ANY MONEY GAINED FROM THE USAGE OF THE PHOTOS. I NEVER KNEW THIS! I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THE PAYED FEE TO ME ALWAYS INCLUDED THE PHOTOS AS WELL - IT'S WHAT MAKES MOST SENSE TO ME. BUT I AM GLAD THAT I STOPPED TO READ AND DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE SIGNING THIS AGREEMENT SO THAT I CAN DO THAT IN THE FUTURE. I WONT DO THIS NOW, AS IT IS A SMALL COMPANY AND I DON'T THINK IT WILL BE USED FOR ANY BIG CAMPAIGN - PLUS, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I WAS PAYED A MORE THAN OKAY AMOUNT FOR THE JOB