BEBELUNA

8TH OF OCTOBER 2020
THE PLANNING

BEBELUNA (THEY/THEM) HAD BEEN KEEPING AN EYE ON MY WORK FOR SOME TIME, BUT AFTER RELEASING MY SHORT FILM 'ENIGMA' (DONE WITH ART DIRECTOR + STYLIST HASZNAT) THEY DECIDED TO CONTACT. OUR FIRST CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE PROJECT COMMENCED IN EARLY SEPTEMBER, WHERE WE DISCUSSED WHAT MY JOB WOULD ENTITLE AND WHAT VISION THEY WERE GOING FOR. BEBELUNA EXPLAINED TO ME THAT THEY WANTED TO CREATE A SHORT FILM ENCOMPASSING THE WHOLE PROJECT, MEANING THAT THEY WANTED VISUALS FOR EACH SONG THAT WOULD COME TOGETHER TO CREATE A SINGULAR STORY. THEY WANTED THE PROJECT TO BE A COLLABORATION, IN WHICH THEY WOULD TAKE THE POSITION OF DIRECTOR, ME OF VIDEOGRAPHER, AND BOTH OF US AS EDITORS. ADDITIONALLY THEY ASKED ME TO TAKE THEIR PRESS SHOTS.

AT THE TIME I FOUND THIS TO BE SUCH AN EXCITING OPPORTUNITY, AND A MONTH ON, I STILL DO. FOR ME, IT IS SO INCREDIBLE TO BE WORKING WITH SUCH AN INCREDIBLE UNDERGROUND MUSICIAN. THUS FAR, OUR WORKING RELATIONSHIP IS RECIPROCAL, WE BOTH BELIEVE AND TRUST EACH OTHER SO MUCH. IT IS VERY REFRESHING, AS I HAVE NEVER WORKED WITH SOMEONE THIS WAY - SO CLOSELY, SO COLLABORATIVELY - ESPECIALLY IN THIS PROFESSIONAL CONTEXT. I REALLY DO WONDER WHAT THIS EXPERIENCE WILL TEACH US, LARGELY BECAUSE IT IS SO UNIQUE

THUS FAR WE HAVE ONLY BEEN LOOKING AT INSPIRATIONS, MAPPING OUT IDEAS, DECIDING THE STYLE OF THE VIDEO, & HOW WE WANT TO EDIT IT. THIS HAS CONSISTED OF WATCHING A LOT OF FILMS. OF THOSE, THE TWO THAT HAVE STUCK OUT ARE 'CLIMAX' (GASPAR NOÉ, 2018) + 'AMERICAN HONEY' (ANDREA ARNOLD, 2016).

EVEN THOUGH THIS QUITE A BIG PROJECT, I A M LOOKING FORWARD TO DEVELOPING MY VIDEOGRAPHY, PHOTOGRAPHY, & EDITING SKILLS, ESPECIALLY WHEN PUSHED BY SOMEONE ELSE'S DIRECTION. THIS WILL ALSO HOPEFULLY DEVELOP MY COMMUNICATION SKILLS, AS I WILL HAVE TO EXPRESS MYSELF CLEARLY AND CONCISELY IN ORDER TO GET MY IDEAS ACROSS.

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL, I KNOW THAT I WILL DEFINITELY BENEFIT FROM WORKING WITH BEBELUNA, AS WORK A LOT WITH VIDEO & PHOTO IN MY OWN PRACTICE. HEARING HOW OTHER PEOPLE WORK AND ADAPTING TO SAID STYLE WILL ONLY BE HEALTHY FOR MY WAY OF THINKING, EXPANDING MY CREATIVITY TO THINGS I HADN'T THOUGHT OF BEFORE.

15TH OF OCTOBER 2020

FIRST WEEK OF PRODUCTION - THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTAL WELLBEING

THESE PAST SEVEN DAYS HAVE BEEN QUITE DIFFICULT FOR ME. A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN MY PERSONAL LIFE, THROWING ME OF A BIT MENTALLY. IT HAS PROVEN QUITE HARD TO CONCENTRATE ON WORK, AS MY MOTIVATION HAS GONE DOWN SLIGHTLY. ON THE OTHER HAND, I FIND MYSELF FEELING BETTER RECENTLY, WHICH I AM GLAD TO FEEL. THIS HAS MADE ME QUESTION THOUGH, HOW CAN I BALANCE BOTH MY MENTAL HEALTH AND MY PROFESSIONAL WORK? ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE BEEN EMPLOYED BY SOMEBODY ELSE? CAN I JUST SIMPLY COMMUNICATE MY STRUGGLES WITH THEM? IS IT SIMPLY JUST A MATTER OF FINDING HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS? THESE QUESTIONS HAVE COME TO MIND BEFORE WHEN IT CAME TO ANY TYPE OF SCHOOLWORK, BUT THEY WERE LESS STRONG, DUE TO THE FACT THE ONLY PERSON DEPENDING ON ME WAS ME. HERE, SOMEONE HAS HIRED ME BECAUSE THEY TRUST ME, WHICH ADDS A DIFFERENT TYPE OF PRESSURE THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT OF BEFORE. AND I KNOW THAT THIS PRESSURE CAN AFFECT ME NEGATIVELY IN THE FUTURE IF IT STAYS.

THESE QUESTIONS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME AS I WILL BE IN MANY PROFESSIONAL SITUATIONS IN THE FUTURE. THEREFORE I NEED TO FIND A WAY OF WORKING AND COMMUNICATING THAT IS HEALTHY FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED. A WAY OF WORKING THAT PRIORITISES MY WELL BEING WHILE ALSO DOING BY BEST AT WHATEVER I HAVE BEEN HIRED TO DO.

16TH OF OCTOBER 2020

CONTINUATION OF PRODUCTION

FORTUNATELY ENOUGH, MY WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH BEBELUNA HAS BECOME VERY CLOSE AND TRUSTWORTHY. I WAS ABLE TO COMMUNICATE PROPERLY ABOUT HOW I WAS DOING AND WE WERE ABLE TO ADJUST AROUND THAT. THIS INTERACTION HAS INCREASED MY MOTIVATION AND HAS LED ME TO FEELING ENERGETIC OVERALL AGAIN.

I NOTICE WITH THIS THAT I STILL HAVE A LOT OF DISCOVERING AND LEARNING TO DO WHEN IT COMES TO BALANCING MENTAL HEALTH AND PROFESSIONAL WORK. I AM AWARE THAT QUESTIONS REMAIN, AND THAT NOT ALL WORKING RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE LIKE THE ONES THAT BEBELUNA & I HAVE.

ON ANOTHER NOTE, WE HAVE WORKED ON PRESS SHOTS AND ARE WELL INTO PRODUCTION. WE ARE SCHEDULED TO FILM FOR ABOUT A WEEK MORE AND THEN WE WILL START WITH THE EDITING. DURING THIS TIME I HAVE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT HOW MUCH GOES INTO PREPRODUCTION FOR BIG SCALE PROJECTS LED BY OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO OVERALL TIME MANAGEMENT. THIS CASE IS PARTICULARLY DIFFERENT TO HOW I HAVE WORKED BEFORE, AS USUALLY IF I HAVE BEEN ASKED/HIRED TO DO SOMETHING I AM JUST GIVEN A DEADLINE AND I WORK MY SCHEDULE AORUND THAT. IN THIS CASE, I HAVE TO TAKE ACCOUNT WHAT THE OTHER ARTIST'S TIMETABLE LOOKS LIKE AND WHAT PERSONAL GOALS THEY WANT TO ACHIEVE. ADDITIONALLY, AS WE ARE CREATING VISUALS FOR EACH SONG AND THERE ARE 5 IN TOTAL, WE NEED TO PREPARE A WIDE VARIETY OF SHOOTING LOCATIONS AND PROPS; AS WELL AS THINK OF THE LIGHTING FOR EACH SCENE, WHETHER IT BE ARTIFICIAL OR NATURAL, IF WE NEED ANY EXTRA CAST OR IF IT'S JUST THEM, ETC. THIS PLANNING PROCESS HAS DEFINITELY BEEN A LEARNING CURVE, AS ESSENTIALLY WE ARE WORKING ON 5 DIFFERENT VIDEOS THAT LINK TOGETHER. I HAVE NEVER WORKED AT THIS SCALE BEFORE, WITH ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE TEAM (BEBELUNA & I). ALTHOUGH THIS ALL MAY SEEM LIKE A LOT, IT HAS ACTUALLY PUSHED ME CLOSER AT LOOKING AT EVERY DETAIL THAT A PRODUCTION NEEDS. THIS MEANS THAT IN THE FUTURE I WILL BE VERY AWARE OF ALL THE THINGS THAT I NEED IN ORDER TO MAKE A PRODUCTION HAPPEN, MAKING THE WORKFLOW MORE SEAMLESS AND PROFESSIONAL. IT WAS ALSO ULTIMATELY MAKE ANY RESULT BE AS CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL VISION AS POSSIBLE.

17TH OF OCTOBER 2020

GRAPHICS AND EP COVER

BEBELUNA HAD BEEN SEEING MY GROWTH WITH TYPOGRAPHY AND GRAPHICS ONLINE AND ASKED TO SEE IF I COULD MAKE A 'BEBELUNA' NAME LOGO FOR THEM. THIS MADE ME A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS AS I AM FARILY NEW AT WORKING WITH GRAPHICS AND HAVE ONLY BEEN DEVELOPING MY WORK THROUGH PERSONAL PIECES - BUT I TOOK THIS OPPORTUNITY AS ANOTHER CHANCE TO FURTHER MY SKILLSET.

THIS WORKED TO MY ADVANTAGE. THEY REALLY LIKED WHAT I MADE FOR THEM AND ASKED ME TO TRY AND COME UP WITH THE NAME LOGO FOR 'ECDYSIS' AS WELL. BY FOLLOWING THEIR BRIEF, I DEFINITELY PUSHED MYSELF ON PHOTOSHOP AND NOW HAVE A WIDER KNOWLEDGE ON HOW TO USE THE SOFTWARE TO GET WHERE I WANT TO GO. THIS HAS BEEN REALLY THRILLING AS I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN OPENED UP TO A MILLION POSSIBILITIES. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING THE 'ECDYSIS' LOGO, AND HOPE THAT THEY ARE AS EQUALLY SATISFIED WITH IT.

ON THE OTHER HAND, WHILE I WAS AWAY WORKING IN MY FLAT, THEY ASKED A FRIEND TO TAKE SOME PHOTOS TO USE AS THEIR EP COVER. I AT FIRST, I FOUND MYSELF A LITTLE BIT UPSET. I HAD BEEN WORKING ON SO MANY ASPECTS OF THE EP'S VISUALS THAT I HAD EXPECTED THAT I WOULD ALSO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE PHOTO USED FOR THEIR EP COVER. I ASKED MYSELF IF MAYBE THEY DIDN'T REALLY LIKE THE PRESS SHOTS THAT I TOOK, OR IF IT WAS SIMPLY A MATTER OF WANTING TO WORK WITH SOMEONE ELSE TOO. EITHER WAY, I TRIED TO SHUT DOOWN THESE INSECURITIES IN A HEALTHY WAY. I KNOW THAT IF THEY FESTER, THEY WILL ONLY BECOME PRESENT IN THE WORK THAT WE ARE DOING. I SIMPLY ASKED THEM IF THEY WERE SATISFIED WITH THE WORK THAT I HAD BEEN DOING, AND THEY SAID YES.

I HAVE TO MAKE NOTE OF WHEN THESE INSECURITIES POP UP. NOT ONLY ARE THEY DAMAGING TO MY PROGRESS, THEY ARE DAMAGING TO FUTURE WORKING RELATIONSHIPS AND OPPORTUNITIES.

18TH OF OCTOBER 2020

NEW OPPORTUNITIES

WORKING WITH BEBELUNA HAS INSPIRED ME AND ENCOURAGED ME AS AN ARTIST. I OVERALL FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN WHAT I DO. AS A RESULT, I HAVE PUSHED MYSELF TO REACH OUT TO OTHER OPPORTUNITIES.

THE TYPE OF WORK THAT BEBELUNA & I HAVE BEEN CREATING LED ME TO APPLY FOR THE WARNER MUSIC INTERNSHIP. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A HUGE PASSION FOR MUSIC, BUT AM VERY AWARE THAT I HAVE NO SKILLSET FOR IT. THEREFORE, I HAVE BEEN ON A MANY YEAR QUEST OF FINDING HOW TO MERGE MY ART AND WHAT I DO WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S MUSIC - AND WORKING WITH WARNER WOULD DO JUST THAT. I AM SENDING IN MY APPLICATION TOMORROW.

I ALSO REACHED OUT TO RYAN LANJI (HE/HIM), AN ARTIST THAT I HAD BEEN FOLLOWING ONLINE SINCE THE SUMMER. I HAD SEEN THAT HE WAS DOING A MEET AND GREET AT HYDE PARK, SO I DECIDED TO GO AND ASK HIM IF I COULD WORK EITHER FOR OR WITH HIM. THE CONVERSATION WENT MAGNIFICENTLY! HE LIKED THE WAY I COMMUNICATED WITH HIM, AND JUST SAID TO CONTACT HIM ON INSTAGRAM. BUT BEFORE I DO, I AM GOING TO FINISH MY WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN PRESENT MYSELF TO HIM IN A MORE PROFESSIONAL MANNER, FULLY SHOWING MY RANGE OF CAPABILITIES. I HOPE TO MESSAGE HIM IN A BOUT A WEEK'S TIME.

20TH OF OCTOBER 2020

ADAPTABILITY

I HAVE REALISED THAT THOSE QUESTIONS THAT I WAS HAVING ABOUT BALANCING MENTAL WELL BEING AND WORK NOT ONLY APPLIES TO ME BUT ALSO TO WHOEVER ELSE I AM WORKING WITH - AND DUE TO THE FACT THAT WE ARE A TEAM OF TWO IT ALL BECOMES VERY TRANSPARENT. BEBELUNA COMMUNICATED WITH ME THE OTHER DAY ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY WEREN'T FEELING TOO WELL, AND THAT THE PRESSURE OF THE PROJECT WASN'T HELPING - WHICH WAS EXACTLY HOW I WAS FEELING NOT TOO LONG AGO. I AM GLAD THAT I WAS ABLE TO ESTABLISH GOOD COMMUNICATION BY EXPRESSING HOW I WAS FEELING BEFORE, OPENING UP HONEST CONVERSATIONS. I DEFINITELY THINK THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I WILL CARRY ON IN THE FUTURE, NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL THE TEAM OR PROJECT IS. I THINK THAT WE HAVE BECOME SO USED TO THE IDEA AND THE STYLE OF THE MODERN ART WORLD THAT REQUIRES AND WANTS TORTURED ARTITS. PERSONALLY I THINK THAT IS OUTDATED AND TOXIC. YES WE EXPRESS ALL TYPES OF EMOTION THROUGH OUR ART, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT EXECUTING AN IDEA SHOULD BE PAINFUL. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THERE NEEDS TO ME AND INTENSE AND OBVIOUS WORKING HIERARCHY WHERE YOU ARE SCARED TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERIOR. I KNOW THAT I WILL HAVE A "BOSS" ONE DAY, BUT I SHOULD EXPECT THERE TO BE GOOD COMMUNICATION BETWEEN US BOTH, REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY ARE. I TRULY BELIEVE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO SUCCEED IN THE BEST WAY, BECAUSE ONE THING IS WORKING HARD AND ANOTHER THING IS PUSHING BEYOND YOUR LIMITS TOWARDS ILLNESS. ANYWAY, I WAS OPEN TO WHAT BEBELUNA WAS SAYING AND WE BOTH AGREED THAT A FEW DAY'S REST WAS IN THEIR AND THE PROJECT'S BEST INTEREST. THIS MEANT THAT WE HAD TO LOOK INTO READJUSTING THE SCHEDULE.

TODAY I DID JUST THAT - BUT IN DOING SO I REALISED THAT WE WERE CUTTING IT SHORT WITH THE TIME. INSTEAD OF WRAPPING FILMING UP AND HAVING TEN DAYS TO EDIT, WE WERE GOING TO HAVE TO CHIP INTO THE EDITING TIME - WHICH MEANS THAT THERE WILL BE DAYS WHERE WE ARE BOTH FILMING AND EDITING AND THE SAME TIME. I ALREADY KNOW THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE INTENSE, BUT HOPEFULLY WITH THE REST WE ARE HAVING NOW, WE WILL BE FULLY PREPARED TO GET INTO IT AND WORK HARD. BEBELUNA'S MANAGER (HE/HIM) WANTS IT FOR THE 25TH OF OCTOBER, SO THAT HE CAN HAVE OVER A WEEK TO SEND IT TO MAGAZINES AND OTHER FORMS OF PUBLICATION. I DO NOT WANT TO LET HIM DOWN, AND I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO LET BEBELUNA DOWN.

21ST OF OCTOBER 2020

NEW EP COVER!!!

TODAY WAS GENERALLY A GOOD DAY. WE ARE ALMOST DONE WITH FILMING AND JUST DID SOME RETAKES OF SHOTS THAT WE WEREN'T FULLY SATISFIED WITH. FOR COVID + TIME REASONS, I HAVE BEEN STAYING OVER AT BEBELUNA'S FLAT TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS AND TO STAY SAFE. THAT MEANT THAT AFTER FILMING, WE SPENT THE EVENING PLAYING AROUND WITH THE CAMERA TO SEE IF ANY PHOTOGRAPHS COULD BE ADDED TO THE PRESS SHOT PACKAGE - AND INSTEAD, WE GOT A NEW PHOTO FOR THE EP COVER!!! I MUST SAY THAT I AM QUITE PROUD OF THE IMAGE AND HOW IT LOOKS, AS I FEEL THAT IT TRULY ENCAPSULATES THE VIBE OF THE EP. I ESPECIALLY LIKE HOW NATURAL IT FEELS, BECAUSE WE HADN'T SET OUT TO REPLACE THE PREVIOUS COVER.

RIGHT AFTER WE REALISED HOW PERFECT IT WAS FOR 'ECDYSIS', I GOT STRAIGHT TO EDITING AND CREATING THE NAME LOGO. TOGETHER, IT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL. I MADE SURE THAT THE GRAPHICS LOOKED RELATED TO THE 'BEBELUNA' NAME LOGO, WHILE ALSO MATCHING THE STYLE AND COLOURS OF THE COVER.

TODAY I FEEL REALLY PROUD.

22ND OF OCTOBER 2020

END OF PRODUCTION

TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF FILMING, AND IT WAS CHAOTIC BUT VERY FUN. BEBE HAD ASKED ME DO DIRECT THE VISUALS FOR THE LAST TRACK, SO I PLANNED OUT SOMETHING THAT WOULD BE SHOCKING AND UNIQUE.

THE LAST TRACK, 'AWAKE', IS VERY LIGHT-HEARTED AND PLAYFUL, SO THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO PORTRAY WITH THE VISUALS. OVERALL, I WANTED THE VIDEO TO BE LO-FI, SLIGHTLY COMEDIC, AND FULL OF EFFECTS. TO DO SO, I GOT MY HANDS ON A DRONE THAT WOULD BE ABLE TO RECORD FILM. I WAS REALLY EXCITED WITH THIS IDEA BECAUSE IT WOULD INCORPORATE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SHOTS TO WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE. I ALSO HAD PLANNED TO INCORPORATE SOME GREEN SCREEN BITS. NOW, I HAVE NEVER USED A DRONE TO FILM, SO I GOT IT A FEW DAYS BEFORE TO PRACTICE WITH IT - AND I FELT PRETTY CONFIDENT AFTERWARDS.

BUT TODAY THE WEATHER SAID NO. I TOOK BEBELUNA TO THIS BEAUTIFUL FIELD THAT HAD THESE ENORMOUS AND MAJESTIC TREES - BUT BY THE TIME WE GOT THERE, IT WAS WINDY AND RAINY. THANKFULLY IT WASN'T RAINING TOO TOO HARD. SO WE JUST WIATED FOR IT TO CALM DOWN TO START SHOOTING. THE SLIGHT WIND WAS STILL SAYING NO, AND AS SOON AS I STARTED ELEVATING THE DRONE, IT WAS TAKEN TO THE NEXT FIELD WHICH WAS PRIVATE PROPERTY. WITHOUT ANY WELLIES, I DECIDED TO FIRM IT, GO OVER THE MUDDY FENCE, AND LOOK FOR THE TINY DRONE. LUCKILY, THE DRONE HAD FILMED A FEW SECONDS BEFORE CRASHING AND SENT IT TO MY PHONE, SO I WAS ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT AREA OF THE FIELD IT COULD BE IN - BUT EVEN WITH THAT IT STILL TOOK A LOT OF TIME. WHEN I FINALLY FOUND IT WITH THE HELP OF BEBE OVER IN THE OTHER FIELD, I TOOK MYSELF BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PLACE AND PUT EVERYTHING BACK IN ORDER. I TURNED ON THE DRONE, LIFTED IT, AND THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN!!! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. SO AGAIN, I WENT BACK, FOUND IT, AND TRIED IT ONE MORE TIME. THE SAME THING HAPPENED, BUT NOW THERE WAS NO WIND. IT KEPT FLYING TO THE RIGHT, REGARDLESS OF WHAT I WAS DOING WITH THE REMOTE. SO I DID IT A FEW MORE TIMES, MAKING SURE TO LAND IT IN THE SAME FIELD AS US, JUST TO MAKE SURE I COULD GET A FEW SHOTS. THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE WAS HILARIOUS.

WHEN WE GOT BACK, WE WERE STILL IN A GOOD MOOD FROM THE FIELD SILLINESS, SO WE GOT STRAIGHT TO SHOOTING THE GREEN SCREEN BITS. WE LAUGHING AND JOKING AROUND WITH THE PROPS, AND EVEN FEATURED BEBELUNA'S CAT ARCHY.

OVERALL, WHAT I GOT FROM THIS DAY WAS THAT I REALLY NEED TO PREPARE MORE BEFORE FILMING, AND HAVE A BACK-UP PLAN NO MATTER WHAT, ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM WORKING WITH OTHER PEOPLE. USUALLY WHEN IT IS MY OWN PROJECT, AND I AM IN CHARGE OF PLANNING EVERY DETAIL, I KNOW THINGS WILL RUN HOW I WANT THEM TO BE. I THINK IT'S DUE TO A COMBINATION OF CONFIDENCE, THE VISION BEING MINE, AND NOT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING. ALSO, STUDIOS ARE USUALLY AVAILABLE BUT DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, THAT HAS BEEN HARD TO COME ACROSS. ALL IN ALL, I JUST NEED TO BE MORE WEARY WHEN WORKING FOR OTHER POEPLE, AND LIKE I SAID BEFORE, HAVE AN ALTERNATIVE OPTION IN CASE THINGS GO SOUTH (LITERALLY).

ON A POSITIVE NOTE, THE SHOTS CAME OUT AMAZING, EVEN IF THINGS DID NOT GO AS PLANNED. I FEEL LIKE I WAS ABLE TO CAPTURE GENUINE JOY AND HAPPINESS WHICH IS ULTIMATELY ALL I NEEDED FOR THE 'AWAKE' VISUALS.

24TH OF OCTOBER 2020

EDITING 'AWAKE'

I STARTED EDITING FOR 'AWAKE' THE SAME NIGHT THAT WE FINISHED FILMING. IT HAS BEEN QUITE INTENSE AS THESE ARE THE LAST STEPS TO COMPLETE THE WHOLE PROJECT. IT IS ACTUALLY QUITE NERVE WRACKING, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE GRAND FINALE OF THE VISUALS IS THE BIT THAT I AM EDITING. YESTERDAY, I FOUND MYSELF FEELING QUITE STUCK. I WAS GETTING TOO INTO MY HEAD AGAIN, INSTEAD OF LETTING MYSELF GO. SO THAT WAS QUITE THE STRUGGLE YESTERDAY. BUT TODAY I FEEL A LOT BETTER AND AM EXCITED TO FINISH EVERYTHING IN TIE TO HAND IT IN TO BEBE'S MANAGER.

25TH OF OCTOBER 2020

ALL DONE!

WE HAVE FINALLY SENT THE WHOLE FILM IN!!! WE ARE BOTH REALLY SATISFIED WITH THE FINAL RESULT. ALTHOUGH THE PROCESS WAS TOUGH, WE DEFINITELY LEARNED A LOT AND ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO ENJOYING THE FRUITS THAT HAV COME OUT FROM WORKING TOGETHER.

I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY AND FOR BEBELUNA'S TRUST IN ME. THEIR EP IS AMAZING AND I WISH THEM THE BEST.

NOTES FROM THE DAY WE FINISHED

8TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

UPDATE ON 'ECDYSIS'

THE PROJECT IS GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION = VERY + VERY POSITIVE RESPONSES. THIS IS SATISFYING TO SEE HAPPEN, TO WORK ON SOMETHING SO HARD AND HAVE IT BEEN WELL RECEIVED. I AM EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THIS PROJECT WILL LEAD US TO NEXT.

19TH OF OCTOBER 2020

FRED PERRY

BEBELUNA WAS CONTACTED BY FRED PERRY SUBCULTURE TO PERFORM FOR THEIR DIGITAL FESTIVAL THAT IS GOING TO BE STREAMED ON THE 5TH & 6TH OF DECEMBER. AS I HAVE BEEN WORKING CLOSELY WITH BEBELUNA I WAS ABLE TO ASK IF I COULD TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO TO PRACTICE MY PHOTOGRAPHY AND TAKE SOME BTS PHOTOS OF THEM. THEY SAID YES, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY WANTED MORE PRESS PHOTOS AND LIKED WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING UNTIL NOW.

I AM GLAD THAT BEBE TRUSTS ME ENOUGH TO TAKE ME ONBOARD ANOTHER PROJECT. I ALSO ENJOY THE FACT THAT THIS BECAME AN OPPORTUNITY JUST BY THE SIMPLE ACTION OF ASKING. I HAVE BEEN NOTICING A LOT LATELY THAT NOT ALL JOBS + OPPORTUNITIES CAN BE OBTAINED ONLY BY GRAND AND FORMAL APPLICATIONS. SOMETIMES IT'S JUST ABOUT KNOWING HOW TO COMMUNICATE, OR HOW TO ASK. IF AN ARTIST IS A BIG SOCIAL MEDIA USER, THEN IT'S PROBABLY LIKELY THAT YOU CAN MESSAGE THEM DIRECTLY OR EMAIL THEM. IT'S JUST ABOUT BEING AWARE, RESPECTFUL, AND CONFIDENT.

29TH OF OCTOBER 2020

WORKING ON 'CAVITY'

HAZSNAT (THEY/THEM), WHO I HAD WORKED WITH PREVIOUSLY ON OUR COLLABORATIVE PROJECT 'ENIGMA', WAS THE STYLIST FOR BEBELUNA AT THE FRED PERRY SHOOT WHERE I WAS THE BTS PHOTOGRAPHER. HASZNAT HAD GOTTEN A FASHION DESIGNER TO CREATE A CUSTOME-MADE SKIRT AND TOP FOR BEBELUNA'S PERFORMACE AT FRED PERRY. UNFORTUNATELY, THE DESIGNER WAS NOT ABLE TO FINISH THE ONE OF THE GARMS ON TIME: THE SKIRT. LUCKILY ENOUGH, HASZNAT WAS ABLE TO THINK ON THE SPOT AND WAS STILL ABLE TO STYLE BEBE FOR THEIR PERFORMANCE.

SO TODAY, A NEW PHOTOSHOOT CONCEPT WAS BIRTHED. WE ALL FELT IT WAS A SHAME THAT THE SKIRT DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SHINE, SO WE ORGANISED A SHOOT THAT WOULD REVOLVE AORUND IT. ON TOP OF THAT, BEBE ALREADY HAS A SECOND EP LINED UP TO COME OUT IN 2021 CALLED 'CAVITY'. THIS SHOOT WOULD BE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE PRESS SHOTS AND POTENTIALLY FIND THE EP COVER ART. THEY ALSO SAID THAT THE SKIRT MATCHED THE ESSENCE OF 'CAVITY' A LOT MORE, SO MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO BE. THIS MEANING, THAT BEBE DID ENJOY WORKING WITH ME IN THEIR PREVIOUS PROJECT, SO MUCH SO THAT THEY HAVE NATURALLY CARRIED ME ONTO THEIR NEXT ONE.

I FEEL A LOT MORE PREPARED THIS TIME AOROUND. IKNOW THEM BETTER AS AN ARTIST, AND I HAVE IMPROVED MY COMMUNICATION SKILLS. I HOPE NOT TO DISAPPOINT, AND ULTIMATELY, DEVELOP MY SKILLS EVEN MORE.

6TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

'ECDYSIS' RELEASE

BEBELUNA'S DEBUT EP 'ECDYSIS' IS FINALLY OUT, WITH THE FILM BEING RELEASE THROUGH WONDERLAND MAGAZINE!!!

TODAY IS VERY EXCITING. IT IS INCREDIBLE TO SEE THIS ARTIST'S WORK BEING SHOWN VIA AN INCREDIBLE PLATFORM LIKE WONDERLAND, AND IT IS AN HONOUR TO HAVE MY WORK FEATURED THERE. THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST TIME WHERE A PROJECT THAT I WORKED ON IS ON A MAGAZINE.

I AM VERY HAPPY FOR BOTH OF US.
I HOPE TO WORK WITH THEM AGAIN SOON.

28TH OF OCTOBER 2020

FRED PERRY PT. TWO

TODAY WAS THE FILMING FOR FRED PERRY! EVERYTHING WENT REALLY SMOOTHLY, AND OVERALL WAS A FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE.

AS SOON AS WE GOT THERE, THE DIRECTOR OF FRED PERRY SUBCULTURE AND THE FESTIVAL (HE/HIM) ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEND THE PHOTOS TO HIM SO THEY COULD USE THEM AS A PART OF PROMO. IN EXCHANGE HE COULD SEND OVER SOME FRED PERRY CLOTHES OF MY CHOOSING FOR FREE! THIS WORKED WITH ME, AS I HADN'T COME EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM THEM.

I AM STILL VERY THANKFUL FOR BEBE TAKING ME ON BOARD, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I WAS HIRED BY RYAN LANJI (HE/HIM) THE OTHER DAY TO BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER FOR A E-COMMERCE SHOOT (THIS WAS THE PERSON I WENT TO HYDE PARK TO MEET). TAKING NOTE ON WHAT I LEARNED NOT TOO LONG AGO ABOUT MAKING SURE THAT I AM PREPARED FOR A JOB, I WAS ABLE TO HIRE OUT THE CAMERA THAT I WANTED TO USE FOR THE RYAN LANJI SHOOT IN ADVANCE AND PRACTICE USING IT AT THE FRED PERRY FESTIVAL FILMING. THE LIGHTING AT THE VENUE WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE AT THE E-COMMERCE SHOOT, AND THE MODEL WILL BE A LOT MORE STILL THAT BEBE WAS WHILE PERFORMING, BUT IT WAS STILL NICE TO FAMILIARISE MYSELF WITH THIS NEW DIGITAL CAMERA.

5TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

'CAVITY' + SKIRT PHOTOSHOOT

TODAY WAS REALLY SUCCESSFUL. DIFFERING FROM 'ECDYSIS' PRESS PHOTOS, I WAS ABLE TO EXPERIMENT A LOT MORE WITH THE STYLE OF SHOOTING AS WELL AS THE ANGLES & LIGHTING DUE TO THE NATURE OF THE 'CAVITY' EP. THIS PROJECT IS A LOT 'HARDER' IN SOUNDER COMPARED TO 'ECDYSIS', AND THAT NEEDS TO ME SHOWN THORUGH THE IMAGES. PERSONALLY, I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE DOING EXPERIMENTAL PROJECTS, AS IT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING MORE RECENTLY IN MY PERSONAL PROJECTS. I HAVE ALSO DEVELOPED MY SKILLS IN PHOTOSHOP AND DIGITAL ART ENORMOUSLY SINCE THE START OF THE (FIRST) LOCKDOWN, MEANING THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO GO CRAZY IN THE EDITING AS WELL. PERSONALLY, I AM NOT MUCH OF A COMMERCIAL PHOTOGRAPHER, BUT I AM GLAD THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO EXPLORE BOTH TYPES WHILST WORKING WITH BEBELUNA.

THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS SHOOT WAS DEFINITELY LED BY LOOKING AT BOTH CYBERPUNK STYLES AS WELL AS CLASSIC PUNK STYLES CREATED BY BLACK PEOPLE SUCH AS X-RAY SPEX AND BAD BRAINS.

THIS SHOOT HAS ALSO LET ME PRACTICE AGAIN WITH THE CAMERA THAT I WILL BE USING AT THE RYAN LANJI SHOOT THAT IS IN TWO DAYS. AS I TEND TO PHOTOGRAPH WITH FILM CAMERAS, THIS PERMITS ME TO FEEL MORE PREPARED FOR THE WORK THAT IS TO COME. THROUGHOUT TODAY, WE SHOT IN VARIOUS LOCATIONS NEAR HASZNAT'S FLAT. THIS ACCENTUATED EVEN MORE MY PRACTICE WITH DIFFERENT LIGHTING AND THE SETTINGS I NEED TO ACHIEVE THE PICTURE THAT I WANT.

I HAVE REALLY ENJOYED THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF WORKING WITH HAZNAT IN AUGUST, TO WORKING WITH BEBELUNA IN SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER, TO NOW WORKING ALL TOGETHER IN NOVEMBER. I AM SATISFIED THE MOST BY PROJECTS THAT INVOLVE THESE TYPES OF COLLABORATIONS. IT REITERATES THE FACT THAT NOT ALL OPPORTUNITIES FOR WORK + GROWTH NEED TO BE THROUGH INTIMDATING APPLICATIONS. THAT BEING SAID, I AM ALSO REALLY EXCITED TO START MY INTERNSHIP WITH WARNER. THE DATE IS YET TO BE CONFIRMED, BUT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GAINING EXPERIENCE IN DIFFERING TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTS.

4TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

FRED PERRY PT. THREE

I HAVE JUST STARTED EDITING THE PHOTOS FROM FRED PERRY / BEBELUNA'S PRESS PHOTOS. I AM NOT SURE WHY, BUT I AM STRUGGLING WITH FINDING AN EDITING STYLE THAT WOULD BEST SUIT THIS SPECIFIC SET OF PHOTOS. IT COULD BE BECAUSE THERE IS AN ALARMING AMOUNT OF PHOTOS, SO IT'S HARDER TO SEE THEM HOLISTICALLY. I AM STILL MAKING MY WAY THROUGH CHOOSING WHICH ARE ALL THE ONES I WANT TO EDIT AND WHICH AREN'T USEFUL. IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG PROCESS.

NOTE TO SELF: BE MORE AWARE OF THE AMOUNT OF PHOTOS TAKEN AT A SHOOT. VARIETY IS GOOD, BUT HAVING TOO MANY IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. BE MORE AWARE OF WHAT YOU WANT AND ARE AIMING FOR, SO THAT YOU SHOOT IMAGES THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO WORK WITH AFTERWARDS. HTIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I HAVE TO BE TOO PRECISE, BUT I DEFINITELY NEED TO BE MORE PRECISE. I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WAS USED AS PRACTICE FOR THE SHOOT IN TWO DAYS, BUT FOR THE FUTURE, IT'S GOOD TO REMEMBER.

16TH OF JANUARY 2021

NEW YEAR NEW GOALS

I WAS PLAYING AROUND ON PHOTOSHOP LAST NIGHT, TRYING TO EDIT A PHOTO FOR MYSELF, AND I ENDED UP EDITING SOMETHING THAT I THINK WOULD REALLY WORK WELL FOR THE 'CAVITY' COVER ART. I MANAGED TO CREATE SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE A SIDE OF A BOTTOM PAIR OF TEETH, WITH SOME OF THE TEETH HAVING DENTS AND RESEMBLING CAVITIES. I THINK THAT STEPPING AWAY FROM WORKING OVER THE HOLIDAY AND STARTING FRESH IN JANUARY REALLY ACCENTUATED THE SKILLS THAT I HAVE BEEN ACCUMULATING. IN OTHER WORDS, THE REST LET ME SEE THINGS WITH A NEW PAIR OF EYES, MAKING MY SKILLS APPEAR STRONGER THAN BEFORE. MY CONFIDENCE IN DIGITAL ART, PHOTOSHOP AND GRAPHICS IS DEFINITELY INCREASING. I WANT TO SOON START WORKING WITH 3D MODELLING ON BLENDER, SO THAT I CAN INCORPORATE IT WITH IN MY PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEOGRAPHY.

ANYWAY, I SHOWED BEBELUNA THE IMAGE TODAY, AND THEY REALLY LIKE IT! THEY SAY IT'S PERFECT FOR THE EP.

19TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

FRED PERRY PT. FOUR

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE STYLE OF EDITING THAT I WANT TO WORK WITH FOR THESE PHOTOS, AND HAVE ALSO MADE OF SELECTION OF THE ONES THAT BOTH BEBELUNA AND I LIKE THE MOST. I WAS ABLE TO ACHIEVE THIS JUST BY EXPERIMENTING AND LETTING GO, WHILE ALSO APPLYING THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE BEEN GAINING FROM DOING GRAPHIC + LOGO WORK. THE STYLE THAT I AM GOING FOR IS SHARP IN HARD + OPAQUE COLOURS - FOCUSNG ON MORE PUNK + EMO COLOURS -, IS PLAYFUL WITH MOTIF PERSPECTIVE AND REPETITION. I THINK THAT THESE ELEMENTS REALLY BRING OUT THE ENERGY THAT WAS GIVEN DURING BEBELUNA'S PERFORMANCE. THEY ALSO TIE IN NICELY WITH THE PHOTOSHOT DONE WITH HAZSNAT EARLIER IN NOVEMBER.

NOW THAT I HAVE FOUND THE HOLISTIC STYLE, EDITING WILL BE VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD AND I THINK THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO SEND THE ALL OFF TO FRED PERRY SUBCULTURE TOMORROW.

I CAN REALLY FEEL MY PHOTOSHOP SKILLS GROWING! THIS THRILLS ME AS I FEEL LIKE I WILL HAVE MORE ABILITY TO ACHIEVE ANY FUTURE PERSONAL / PASSION PROJECT.

20TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

FRED PERRY PT. FIVE

I HAVE SENT IN ALL THE PHOTOS TO FRED PERRY SUBCULTURE! I FEEL VERY SATISFIED WITHT THE WORK THAT I PRODUCED. I ALSO, LIKE MENTIONED BEFORE, REALLY ENJOYED HOW NATURALLY THIS ALL CAME TOGETHER. I DIDN'T THINK THAT STARTING A PROJECT WITH BEBELUNA IN SEPTEMBER WOULD LEAD ME TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH THEM AND FRED PERRY IN NOVEMBER. I AM FEELING VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE THESE OPPORTUNITES, ESPECIALLY DURING THESE HARD TIMES.

29TH OF NOVEMBER 2020

'CAVITY' PHOTO EDITING

I HAVE FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO START EDITING FOR 'CAVITY'! I WANTED TO LEAVE SOME TIME BETWEEN THE EDITING OF FRED PERRY AND THESE ONES BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT THEM TO END UP LOOKING THE EXACT SAME. I WANT TO TAKE IT SLOW AND HAVE A PROCESS OF DISCOVERY BEFORE I EDIT WITH I STYLE THAT I DON'T THINK PUSHES THE 'CAVITY' VISION FORWARD. SO TODAY I SIMPLY SELECTED SOME PHOTOS, AND STARTED EXPERIMENTING WITH SOME. THERE ARE TWO THAT I SPECIFICALLY LIKE, AND I THINK COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING. THEY ARE PUSHING MORE TOWARDS A MORE 3D CHROME STYLE, WHILE ALSO CONTINUING THE CYBERPUNK FEEL THAT BEBELUNA WANTS. I AM HONESLTY EXCITED TO CONTINUE EDITING THESE PHOTOS.

IT WAS ALSO NICE TO COME BACK TO THESE AFTER A WHILE. I THINK THAT WORKING ON DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE THE SHIRIN LINGERIE SHOOT, THE SHENEAD SHOOT & THE 10MAGAZINE SHOOT REALLY GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO GAIN NEW PERSEPCTIVES, DO MORE RESEARCH AND GAIN MORE INSPIRATION. I THINK THIS GROWTH WILL BE ABLE TO BE SEEN IN THESE UPCOMING 'CAVITY' PHOTOS.

3RD OF DECEMBER 2020

SELF-DISCOVERY

I HAVE FINALLY STARTED GETTING THE HANG OF THE HOLISTIC EDITING STYLE. I HAVE MANAGED TO EXPLORE NEWER TECHNIQUES IN THE PAST FEW DAYS AND NOW FEEL VERY CONFIDENT AND EXCITED TO CREATE THE REST OF THE IMAGES. THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO THE IMAGES CREATED FOR 'ECDYSIS' AND I BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE GROWING PRODUCED BY ALL THE WORK I HAVE BEEN DOING AS OF LATE. BECAUSE NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN LEARNING MORE SKILLS TO APPLY TO THE SET BRIEFS, BUT I ALSO HAVE STARTED TO FEEL LIKE I AM FINDING MY OWN EDITING STYLE. SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE CAN RECOGNISE IS ME NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF WORK I AM DOING. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME AS I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE THAT SIGNATURE STYLE YET. I HAVE BEEN ON A PROCESS OF SELF-DISCOVERY SINCE THE START OF LOCKDOWN. AT FIRST IT CONSISTED OF FINDING OUT WHAT DISCIPLINES OR TYPE OF ART I LIKE TO MAKE (STILL TO BE DETERMINED BUT I AM UNDERSTANDING BETTER) AND NOW I AM FOCUSING ON MY STYLE. I REALLY WANT MY WOKR TO BE COHESIVE, FORMING A 'BRAND' PER SAY. I AM DEFINITELY NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE YET, BUT I DEFINTELY FEEL LIKEI AM ON THE RIGHT PATH.

9TH OF DECEMBER 2020

CORNWALL

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE INTENSITY OF THE IWNTER AND OF THE UPCOMING HOLIDAYS CAN GET TO ME, I DECIDED TO COME TO CORNWALL A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO ON MY LONESOME. THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST AND SMARTEST DECISIONS I HAVE MADE YET.

I WAKE UP EARLY, WALK TO THE NEAREST BEACH, GET A HOT CHOCOLATE, AND THEN START MY WALK ALONG THE COASTAL PATH. IT'S TRULY BREATH-TAKING OVER HERE. I DID NOT KNOW THAT THE UK HAD BEACHES LIKE THIS. I WALK FOR ABOUT 5-6K AND THEN TURN AROUND AND WALK BACM TO THE STARTING BEACH. I THEN WALK TO THE AIRBNB THAT I AM STAYING AT. I FEEL SO RELAXED, AND SO INSPIRED. AFTER THAT, I COOK MYSELF DINNER, WATCH A LITTLE BIT OF TV. THEN I WORK FOR A LITTLE BIT. THE PLACE THAT I AM STAYING AT IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND QUIET, AND IT REALLY LETS ME CONCENTRATE AND WORK. SO MUCH SO, THAT I HAVE FINSIHED EDITING THE PHOTOS FOR 'CAVITY', AND MADE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE IMAGES YET. TAKING TIME TO MYSELF, AWAY FROM THE CITY, AWAY FROM THE INTENSITY, REALLY LETS MY CREATIVITY FLOW. I AM ABOUT TO SEND THE FINAL PHOTOS TO BEBE, I HOPE THAT THEY LIKE THEM, BECAUSE I REALLY DO. THIS REALLY TIES IN WITH A DIARY ENTRY THAT I MADE IN OCTOBER, ABOUT FINDING THAT BALANCE BETWEEN MENTAL WELLBEING AND WORK. THIS PROVES MY POINT, AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO KEEP THIS BALANCE GOING.